Admittedly, I got this from our daily journey.
Love isn’t guaranteed to bring us happiness, but it is guaranteed to hurt. C. S. Lewis wrote: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.”
Love anyway. It’s worth the hurt.
— Mike Wittmer
Great Thot 4 the day:
“I must commit myself to God in every situation of life with absolutely no assurance that he will perform miracles on my behalf. But then, you and I do have our guarantee, after all. Our God, who has the power to do whatever He wills, is wise enough to do not what I want, but what is best. And this is the best guarantee of all.”
Larry O. Richards — The 365 Day Devotional/Commentary, Victor Publications, 1990, pg 516
This has been unlike any week in my life. Much sadness in reflections of the past.
I find quiet comfort in the routine, ordinary things of life. But this week was far from that.
Monday was fairly uneventful. Nothing much happened. I thought. Hurrah! An ordinary week for a change. Mom called and said she started her cat on insulin. Dropped stuff in the mail that I had to return to amazon. Had to go to post office twice, because the folks there said that they could not give me any packing tape. Stopped off at UPS which was way way too expensive. Back home to tape up the packages, and then back to the post office.
Tuesday was not too bad. I went over to TMC and helped Daniel teach a class on General Class Amateur radio. He had brought in several antennas (we only had a class of 1 besides us), and he explained anyway. I learned more in 45 minutes, then I did in 5 years of study. I knew that my amateur radio rig at home, just needed a better antenna to work. Fortunately Daniel had found one I could buy that was in my budget range. He also showed us a home brew 2 metre antenna he had made from a cat food can, a pl-259 bulkhead, and coat hangers. Who knew? Stopped by Wally’s World and picked up some dish detergent.
Wednesday was semi-routine. I did not go the R.A.C.E.S. meeting downtown, as it was not being held at the EOC, but instead at a school on the south side of town. Instead I went out to see my Dad, who is in adult care. Mom came up from town, and we met at the facility. (side note: we put Dad into adult care and hospice, just a few days before Christmas.) We got there, and Dad — well I thought he had had a stroke, since he was pretty in-coherent. Mumbled, confused and came up with all the wrong words. Frightening to watch parents age and go onto fragility.
I went by the place Daniel had told me about on the east side of town, and ordered the indoor HF antenna.
From there, I went to the shelter where I do volunteer I.T. support. Moved a bunch of furniture around to plan for an expansion of the network. But this left the cable modem with a short ethernet cable, and ended up putting the cable modem in an inbox on the wall. Thanks Cox Communications, for a sub-standard install. Visited some of my favourite cats there. In the G.I. section. These cats have no bowel/bladder control because someone mangled their tails. It is stinky, to be honest. But that doesn’t stop the cats from wanting or needing love. I spend 10 minutes with them before I start, and 10 minutes before I leave. They are permanent residents, and nobody wants to deal with them. But they deserve to be loved, just the same. Got home late. Mom called and said that her cat had not eaten for several days and was going to the vet.
The cat is one they found while camp hosting several years back. He had heart worms and asthma. They brought him home, and he spent about 5 years with them. Quiet big kitty. Good personality.
Thursday is my “catch up day.” The day I do laundry, clean the apartment, etc. That went fairly well. Did some light shopping.
Friday was fairly routine. My antenna came in, but I am not on that part of town (about 30 plus miles round trip) so I will pick that up this Wednesday. Folks cat was still getting sicker. No food or water for 3 days now.
Saturday rolled around. I had a cat cpr class at the shelter at 1 pm, so I went there for that. Learned a lot. But I could sit through that a second time, if they will let me. Jackie is a great teacher. She is the Certified Vet Tech at the shelter where I volunteer. Classes are about an hour long, with power point presentation. I am glad that she is helping to educate the public. Went to a local computer store, got a 15 foot ethernet cable, returned to the shelter, took the network down, and installed a new cable. Moved the cable modem to it’s new spot: on top of a table. Tested everything, and was good to go.
Mom said the cat was breathing hard and so she took him into the vet again. Give him a shot of antibiotics. He pee’d all over himself. The end was near.
An acquaintance came over and we watched some TV. It is never easy to tell some one they have body odor, but I had to, to protect my new furniture. I tried to tell him in such a way as not to puncture. I think this is the first time he has been on his own, and he may not know how to use a washing machine. Seriously. That’s okay. He’s teachable. Maybe that’s why are paths crossed. Very bright person.
Saturday marked the 11th anniversary of when I moved, and the 14th anniversary of when I had to put one of my pets down.
Sunday. Mom met the vet @ 9 am, and put the cat down. Right thing to do. Discovered in the x-ray he had a collapsed lung. Explains why he was breathing so hard, not eating or drinking. That cat NEVER lacked for love.
Hosted a live chat for CBC. The online church I am a part of, before I left to see Dad.
When I arrived at Dad’s place around 11 am or so, I saw both Mom and Dad crying their eyes out. I said, “Why didn’t you wait for me, so we could both tell him?” My Mom and I are deaf as a post and both wear hearing aids. Dad however, was able to hear my Mom tell the care giver about the cat, even at a whisper.
It is hard to watch both parents grieve over the loss of a beloved pet. I have been here. The cat was the glue that sort of held things from the past together, with the present. The future for both of them is murky. They are both near end-of-life and it is hard to watch your parents deteriorate before your eyes.
Mom and I went to lunch at Carl’s Jr. near the Costco. Had their southwestern burger, drink and a salad. A better memory of the day.
Spent sometime tonight talking to my friends Cyndi and Jeff. Cyndi drove me to the vet, 14 years ago. Jeff. If I ever had a soul mate, it would be Jeff. One of but maybe 1/2 dozen people I can be totally honest with.
And now, I am writing this. I hope I never have another week like this one.
“The pain now, is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”
CS Lewis
and so it goes….
Wayno
Ours is no cookie-cutter religion, turning out production-line Christians. Each believer is a “one of a kind” original. Each of us had different gifts, different personalities, different ways of serving and glorifying God. We need to appreciate each others’ differences, for often it is in the way another Christian differs from us, that we discover a fresh spiritual insight.
(From the 365 day Devotional Commentary, Larry 0. Richards, Victor Publications, 1992 page 67)
“Starting afresh patiently and in good cheer and hope is the mark of the Christian. One of the helpful definitions of the Christianity is this: The Christian life is a series of new beginnings.”
— John B. Coburn
(from the 365 day Daily Devotional Commentary, Larry O. Richards, Victor Publications, 1992, pg 1072)
I found this 15 minute video, from Dallas Theological Seminary to be a refreshing insight of Ministry and the Disabled.
This is precisely where I am. But he left out one category: social disability. I struggle with Autism.
Ministry and the Disabled (2007) (Summary of the Video)
I. Who are the disabled? (disabilitystatistics.org)
1. Sensory (Blindness, Deafness, Severe Vision or Hearing Loss)
2. Physical Disability (trouble moving by themselves)
3. Mental Disability. (Learning, Remembering, Concentrating)
4. Go outside the home
5. Employment
6. Self Care
Disabled over the age of 5, and NON-institutionalized. (In U.S.)
10 million
10 – 15 million
20 million
Over 20 million?
As of 2007, 41.3 million non-institutionalized and over the age of 5.
1 in 5 have a functional disability.
54 million in the U.S. (National Organization on Disability)
As age goes up, chances of disability go up.
Majority of disabled over 18.
Special needs. Special and needy but geared only to kids.
Disability viewed as abnormality, but is it?
Life between trees Garden of Eden Heaven Tree of Life Fall of Man Tree of Life Gen 2:9 Gen 3 Rev 22:22 (disability/abnormal) disability/normal disability/abnormal)
Rev 21: God wipes away tears, and no more suffering.
55 y.o. stroke victim. Can’t speak, but otherwise okay. Where do they put him? Special needs ministry for kids.
Less then 15% of churches have a disabled ministry.
53% have no church.
54 million people — 1/2 don’t attend church.
2 in 7 families have a disabled family member.
85% of marriages end in divorce when one disabled child present.
No public places. No baby sitter. No church support.
What do we do?
The role of online church ministry in the world today
As you saw from the previous video, about 20% of the population of the United States is disabled. Some mildly, some severely.
I have Aspergers Syndrome. A form of Autism. I do NOT read social information correctly. Body language and cues, are foreign to me. I stumble through social situations. Always uncomfortable. Always unsure, of what to do or say next.
Some parents of severely autistic children, find it hard to find a place to worship, simply because the church does not accommodate autism, or traumatic brain injury. How to you reach these folks for Christ, is they can not come to a brick and mortar place of worship?
The church instead, goes to them. 24/7/365 online church is streamed live via the internet. For me, it was God sent. I was too far away from my old church, and could not afford to travel that far. I tried to find a church close by, but while you can kick the tires on a car, they don’t like you kicking people in the congregation. Online church allows me to be as engaged in the discussion, or as anonymous as I need to be.
They are no expectations to meet. There are other Christians there to help guide you along the journey to pray for you. Chat Moderators from all over the world, allow services to be global in nature, and not just minister to one locality.
The world is now a global village. And to shun a person or pigeon hole them because of a physical or mental disability, is becoming less of a barrier. How do we reach these people?
One person at a time.
The ABC’s of Communication
A – Adjust your agenda. Make the time to minster to these people. Meet them where they are at. Home, lonely, often dejected. Each has a story that must be told, must he heard, and must be prayed for. Take the time to listen, and meet the needs of the individuals.
B — Build a bridge. Find something you both are genuinely interested in, and cross that bridge together. It could be movies, art, music, tv, books….anything. Find something you both have in common and both enjoy. This requires you to invest time in the life of another person.
C — Communicate the character of Christ. People do not need to see our mouth flapping, they need to see our life working. It means being as transparent and open and honest as possible.
As one author said:
“Tell me how much you pray for a person,
and I will tell you how much you have loved them.”
Brillat-Savarin
Wayno
Dust vs Dirt
Probably most of us remember the passage in Gen 2:7 about God creating man from dust, and from Gen 3:19, that we will return to dust. But…what about in between? The parable of the sower comes to mind from Luke.
Dust is worthless. You can’t grow anything in it. It’s dirty. Messy. Filthy. Sterile. Shaken off feet. (Matt 10:14) Think: Dust Bowl!
But dirt contains all the things necessary for growth. (See The parable of the sower in Luke 8:11-15). It is fertile and rich. You can plant things in dirt, and they will flourish and grow 10 or even 100 fold.
Where are you today? We’re big guys now, and we still play in the dirt 🙂 . But are you the dust in someone’s eye, or are you the rich bountiful soil that grows food to sustain life? Dust is worthless. But dirt has real lasting value. Adjust your agenda. Make the time for someone else. Build a bridge into someone’s life. It can be virtually anything: off roading, movies, music, tv, sports. Communicate the character of Christ. The simple ABC’s of human friendship.
Be the dirt in someone’s life, and grow something wonderful.
Wayno
Maybe it’s NOT the end
I was lamenting to my friend Jeff earlier today, how I feel so un-accomplished. So alone. So isolated. I stand on the precipice of 60 in less then a year. As I look back, there seemingly is nothing of importance that I have accomplished in my life. Sure I have had my successes and failures like everyone.
But being disabled/retired is not what I thought it would be. Many hours spent toiling at nothing of significance. Finding creative outlets from the boredom and tedium of the day. Autism makes it especially difficult for me, to relate to other people. I crave friendship and fellowship, but it seems to come less often. Gone are the halcyon days of social banter and interaction with fellow co-workers. Instead, I find myself talking to my cats. Companion animals. They are the only ones in this stark corner of the universe it seems, that fully understand me, and my social awkwardness.
Jeff took the time to say: “Wait a minute? You really think the best part of your ministry is in the past? Let me tell you….” and he proceeded to explain how many of the greats in the Bible, did not start their ministry until very late in life.
Abraham was 100 years old, when he had has promised son, Isaac. (Gen 21:5). Moses sat idle for 40 years (Acts 7:23 and Acts 7:30) before God called him to lead the nation of Israel out of the bondage of Egypt. He was 80. The Apostle Paul was about 50 when he was called. John wrote The Book of Revelation near the end of his life, about 92. Jesus didn’t start his ministry until he was 30 years old.
It seems God has to train us, and strip us of self pride before we are ready to be used. Jeff carefully reminded me, how my life has impacted his. “I look to you, for guidance, wisdom, and understanding. I can not find that in someone that hasn’t experienced life.”
I had to understand that God may have me on the sidelines at the moment, but He is working in me something far greater then my mind can fully conceive. God will still use me, even if I am in failing health. I just have to be available.
“Therefore we do NOT lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed, day by day.” (2 Cor 4:16 NIV)
Wayno
And What of Marriage
While I can not say I know what makes a marriage successful, I do know what does NOT make a marriage successful.
These 3 elements were missing from my marriage. I call them, the 3 c’s:
1. Communication. We all have shortcomings and weaknesses. Honest and open DAILY communication with your partner, is paramount, for a marriage that will last a lifetime. Horizontal. Between two people. No holds barred. Brutal honesty and truth. As the Bible says: “Never let the sun set on an argument.” (Eph 4:26)
But there must also has to be a vertical element: Honest and open DAILY communication with God.
2. Commitment. Marriage is more about commitment, then love. Is love important? Certainly. But knowing that this person is committed to me no matter what, means they will not leave. This is not a license to abuse or be bossy. It’s a license to honour each other’s thoughts and ideas, even if you disagree.
3. Character. What is Character? I like the dictionary definition: “It is the complex of mental and ethical traits making a person.” The fruits of the spirit.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” (Galatians 25:22-23 NIV)
A three legged stool if you please. Remove any one of these elements, and marriage is pre-destined to failure.
Wayno
My daily devotional from Our Daily Bread directed me to the second chapter of Ruth. Whoa! It’s been years since I have read this book. Actually it had been so long, that I had to look up in the index of my Bible, just to find where it was. It is tucked neatly between Judges and 1 Samuel.
As I began to read, I noticed something that said: Pay Attention! As I read, I begin to see God’s providence unfold in the story I was reading. Wait! Let’s skip back to chapter 1 of Ruth. The Book of Ruth is the story of devotion, dedication, hope, and redemption. All of that packed into 4 chapters.
As I re-read the second chapter, I couldn’t help but notice how God provided for his people. They didn’t have welfare in those days. If you were poor you gleaned in the field after the harvesters. Ruth came to glean in the field of Boaz. Backbreaking hard work. Where just enough was gathered to keep body and soul together.
But was it fortune that smiled on Ruth that day, or divine providence?
Boaz replied, “I have been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband — how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel under whose wings you have come to take refuge.” (Ruth 2:11-12)
You see what he said there? Man! That’s hope! He said the right thing, at the right time. Affirmation.
Do we infuse hope into the lives of others? Today a bedraggled individual walked into a restaurant. You could read the dejection, humility, and humbleness in his face. He sat for awhile, to enjoy some cold water, and to escape the blistering heat of the Arizona landscape. I was beside myself. I didn’t know what to do. I said: “God my brother is in need here. How do I infuse hope?” I am not an evangelist nor did I feel he needed to see my mouth flapping.
I remembered how one day, a person did something for me totally unexpected. A random act of kindness. She purchased a gift card, came over to my table, and said: This is for you. And just walked away. I don’t know who this person was, or why she did that, but it has always served as a powerful reminder of God’s providence for me.
Yes that was the right thing to do. I went to my car, got some money, and purchased a gift card for him. I went to his table, laid the card there and said: This is for you. As I walked away, he said: Thank you! I was more then re-paid.
How are you impacting your world? How are you infusing hope into the lives of other people? Do people only see our mouth working, or do they see Jesus in our actions and deeds? I pray that I instilled in this man today, the love of God through my actions. My brother is in need, how can I help? That should be a daily prayer. Emily Dickenson said:
“Hope is the thing with feathers,
that perches in our soul.
and sings the tune without words,
and never stops at all.”
Wayno