And What of Marriage
While I can not say I know what makes a marriage successful, I do know what does NOT make a marriage successful.
These 3 elements were missing from my marriage. I call them, the 3 c’s:
1. Communication. We all have shortcomings and weaknesses. Honest and open DAILY communication with your partner, is paramount, for a marriage that will last a lifetime. Horizontal. Between two people. No holds barred. Brutal honesty and truth. As the Bible says: “Never let the sun set on an argument.” (Eph 4:26)
But there must also has to be a vertical element: Honest and open DAILY communication with God.
2. Commitment. Marriage is more about commitment, then love. Is love important? Certainly. But knowing that this person is committed to me no matter what, means they will not leave. This is not a license to abuse or be bossy. It’s a license to honour each other’s thoughts and ideas, even if you disagree.
3. Character. What is Character? I like the dictionary definition: “It is the complex of mental and ethical traits making a person.” The fruits of the spirit.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” (Galatians 25:22-23 NIV)
A three legged stool if you please. Remove any one of these elements, and marriage is pre-destined to failure.